Lost

There’s plenty of trouble to be had when you define yourself by one thing.  For me, that thing is climbing.  When people ask, “what do you do?” or “what have you been up to?”  my answer is always climbing.  Climbing trip this, climbing trip that, this boulder, that crack, this sport route, that project.   

But lately, that hasn’t been true.  I have not been climbing.  Not in the gym, not outside, not on buildings, not up trees.  The last time I went climbing was in Bishop.  Yes, remember that, way back in January? 

[Disclaimer: ok I’ve done two competitions in the past month for the Collegiate Climbing Series, but I’ll get back to that in another post.  And I went climbing (inside) yesterday.  But other than that… none]

So now when people ask me what I’ve been up to, I don’t know what to say.  Actually, people don’t even ask me that.  They cut straight to the chase.  “Been climbing anywhere cool lately?”  “You must be crushing, right?” 

…no

I feel lost.  What is it that I do?  I try to think when people ask what’s going on and I really can’t come up with much.  Well, there’s school but I don’t put in too much time there.  I ride my bike, but it’s been windy lately so I haven’t been on it too much.  I play with my dogs.  Eat, sleep?

Help!

Who am I?!

Who do I want to be?

I am a climber!  Or am I?

I want to be a climber!  I think.  I am trying to figure out if it has been a conscious choice not to climb or if has just somehow happened.  I know why I don’t climb in the local gym, I am just not motivated there.  But why haven’t I been on trips?  Why hasn’t every fiber in my being been craving the adventurous lifestyle that I used to embrace?  Why haven’t all my resources been funneled into making climbing happen?

Here are some theories:

1. I am burnt out

2. The weather

3. School schedule

4. Something is wrong with me!

If I was in Thailand, I'd probably be psyched

I am still interested in climbing.  I still go on Dead Point and the Bishop Bouldering Blog way too many times a day.  I daydream about long trips to the Red River Gorge or many of the climbing destinations I have yet to explore.  I ponder myself placing gear on fun new routes.  But yet, here I sit in my bed, with a final exam in Marketing looming just 10 hours away, with no studying under my belt, thinking about why I am not climbing.

Bouldering in Bishop.  Definitely better than studying.

I think as climbers we do sometimes wonder, why do we do this?  But in the end the conclusion is always the same- because its rad, it’s beautiful, it makes me happy; it is liberating and detoxifying and pure and perfect.  It really is all those things, so I can’t fathom why I am not out climbing every second of every day. 

Clearly, I am not motivated by grades in my climbing as I have been on an ever stretching plateau for what seems like years.  I think that I have chosen to accept this though, as most people that I climb with will attest to the fact that I don’t actually try very hard (as in I don’t train, and I giggle way too much).

Very dirty. Very happy. Lovin' life.

I think a huge motivating factor for me is the people who I climb with.  But recently one of my really strong and inspiring climbing partners threw me for an unexpected loop that made me look at climbing in a really strange way for a few days.  And on top of that, I miss Tim so much it hurts!  Tim and climbing were always synonymous for me so that connotation is always present when I climb.

Getting motivated.  Send train on Molly with Alex

So, where am I going with all this?  I have no idea.  That’s the point.  I’m lost.  And I really do sincerely apologize for this depressing post since I am usually a very, very happy person. 

I think I need to decide something about climbing.  What that is, I don’t know.  All I know is that spring break is coming up and every person I know is going climbing.  Except me.  I am going to go skiing.  This is just ludicrous…

Last spring break I went to Red Rocks and the Creek

I want to be a climber.  I want that to be my definition.  I want to go back to the Fall and Summer when all I did was climb.  But for now, what do I do?  Should I make a commitment to train hard, and try hard, and get better?  Should I take it as it comes and go on the sporadic, low-key climbing trip?  Or should I take a break?  Like a real break where I find myself a new definition for a while? (I’d like to think that the answer to that last one is NO!)  I think I just need to get on routes.  Maybe if I didn’t boulder for a while and did some routes… 

Placing gear would likely solve all my problems

I just don’t know. 

And speaking of things that I don’t know… I don’t know anything about Marketing so I should probably stop babbling and start studying.  I'm sure that in the morning it will all feel ok again.

Woes of the Weekend Warrior

Oh, woe is me!  I am no longer a vagabond, no longer freely floating wherever the wind may take me.  I am sleeping in a bed, going to class, even showering on an almost regular basis (2-3 showers a week is a regular basis, right?).  To top it all off, I have been in San Luis Obispo for the past four weekends straight. 

FOUR WEEKENDS STRAIGHT! (Which, for the record also means four weeks straight as I have not been ditching class to take trips during the week either) 

That is unthinkable, unheard of, absolutely absurd!  Last year, I spent a maximum of ONE weekend per quarter here in SLO, for a total of three weekends throughout the entire school year.  And here I am, in one place for a month straight.  I should rename my blog “Life Off the Road.”  Sigh…

I haven't been to J Tree in so long

 How can this be, you may wonder.  Well maybe you aren’t wondering that, but I sure am.  I think one of the biggest problems with my inability to get away is that I have a Friday class.  Up until this point in my college career, I was unaware that classes could exist on Friday.  I mean, who would go to them anyway?  (My four Engineer roommates are probably getting ready to slap me at this point).  But really, I major in Playing Outside for crying out loud!  Doesn’t that dictate that I should have long weekends, every weekend, no exceptions!? 

Shouldn't you two be in school? Who, us?  No way!

 Last year, Chelsea and I developed a pattern.  It went something like this: Yosemite, Joshua Tree, Bishop, Tahoe, repeat.  Every weekend we were gone.  Or depending on how you look at it, every Monday and Tuesday we were in SLO (Wednesday through Sunday totally qualifies as ‘the weekend!’).  The drives to those locations are 4, 6, 6, and 6.5 hours respectively.  But we thought nothing of jumping in the car, just as soon as we had gotten back from one trip and embarking on another! 

We had Wednesday off for Veteran's Day.  So we went to Joshua Tree for the whole week.

This year however, having only a TWO-day weekend makes driving six hours seem almost not worth it.  The one weekend I did get away this quarter, I went to Bishop.  I personally spent $120 in gas and 12 hours behind the wheel.  Not cool! 

Aside from the gas price and half a day of driving time, Titan got bit in the eye by another dog, Star decided that my tent need more ventilation and created a new ‘window,’ it was so crowded in the Sads that I couldn’t get on my project or even hardly turn around without running into someone, and the road to the Buttermilks turned into a sticky mud river so the other car in our group was unable to make it up there.  Not the best weekend!  Not quite as much fun as the relaxing pace of our road trip, when time was on our side.   

On this trip last spring, we had a day off mid-week for Ceasar Chavez day.  Naturally, we took the week off to go to Tahoe.  Even though we had just gotten back from Spring Break.

I will of course, have to give SLO some credit for keeping me here.  After all, it has been 75 degrees and sunny out for the past month.  The rolling hills have been a lovely shade of green, the ocean a sparkling blue and my bike a shining beacon of white, beckoning me to come play.  So despite not climbing, my life has still been alright :)

I used to be so hard core.  What happened?

 So here is a ray of climbing hope.  This weekend is a three-day weekend.  Made easily into a four-day weekend by means of creating a clever holiday strategy (aka not showing up to class on Friday).  Four days of glorious freedom to climb beautiful, beautiful rocks.  Where should I go?  Joshua Tree?  Bishop?  Hmm, let us check the forecasts for these wonderful places…

Bishop:

Tomorrow: Windy

Friday: Rain/Snow Showers

Saturday: Rain/Snow

Joshua Tree:

Saturday: Rain.  Yes, rain in the desert.

I also checked Red Rocks, Yosemite and just about every other climbing destination in California.  Rain, rain, rain.  Whyyyyyyy?

I was a carefree weekend warrior last year

 So here I am, relegated back to my rank as a weekend warrior.  One of those people with a “normal” life who loads up the car on weekends (or doesn’t if you’re me lately), drives somewhere to climb, gets settled into the groove just as its time to leave, and gets insanely jealous of all the dirty kids who get to stay and play for as long as they want. 

I wanna be the dirty kid again!  

Oh yea, and then there was that one weekend where we drove out to Colorado right before final exams

Top Reasons you know you're a Climbing Bum (in no particular order)

1. You see bird shit on a rock and think, oh is that chalk!?

2. Cooking any item of questionable cleanliness/freshness on your camp stove makes it edible

3. You can’t recall the last time you showered

4. The fact that you remember brushing your teeth sometime in the recent past means you’re set for a few more days

5. Your hair has become one giant dreadlock

6. Your food is either crunchy because it’s full of dirt, dusty tasting because it’s moldy or just plain rotten, but because of #2 you’re not worried about it

7. Going home means getting in your tent

8. When people ask you where you live you tell them where your car is parked

9. You think you’re tan but you’re really just dirty

10. Spending priorities are as follows: gas, climbing gear, chocolate, footy pajamas, food, showers

11. You have 3 shirts for a 3 month trip 

12. Your palms sweat when you think about climbing, see a climbing video, or talk about climbing

13. Your profile picture on Facebook is of you climbing, all you think about is climbing, all you talk about is climbing, all you dream about is climbing.  Climbing, climbing, climbing!

This tortilla was moldy, now it is just ventilated.

Bishop Weekend

Here are some pictures from a trip to Bishop over the Martin Luther King long weekend.

Alex on Lawnmower Man V7

Sam on Lawnmower Man

Titan and me eating a snack

Asa on Antihero

Eric checking out Stained Glass

Me climbing in a tank because it was super hot!

El Fin

I have returned home to my parents’ house in the Bay Area for Christmas, thus ending the adventure.  While the return is somewhat anti-climactic, I have found that there is a bowl of Christmas colored M&Ms that sits by the door and is mysteriously refilled every time that I empty it.  I may stay.

Here are some stats from the trip:

Total mileage: 11,823

Total days: 106

Total states: 9 (Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah, Colorado, Arizona, Nevada, California)

Total crags/areas: 14 (Smith Rock, Trout Creek, Ozone, City of Rocks, the Tetons, American Fork, Maple Canyon, Joe’s Valley, Indian Creek, Rocky Mountain National Park, Eldorado Canyon, Flagstaff Boulders, Clear Creek Canyon, Bishop)

Longest stay: Indian Creek, 18 days

Longest drive: Littleton, CO to Incline Village, NV- 17 hours

Longest route: Exum Direct, Grand Teton

Highest temperature: 90 degrees- City of Rocks, Idaho

Lowest temperature: 10 degrees- Bishop, California

I left on this trip with high hopes for a grand adventure and I was not disappointed.  I left with two crazy puppies and returned with two loyal companions.  I left with a best friend and returned with a best friend; we don’t want to kill each other, we can still stand each other’s company, and I in fact miss her already after only two days apart.  I left with a mild allergy to splitter cracks and returned with a new affection for them.  I left without my greatest climbing partner, and returned still missing him as much as ever.  I left with a sense of adventure and returned with an even greater yearning for exploration.    

      

 I may be back home, but plenty of things occurred since my last post.  After leaving Bishop after our first ten days there, we made quick stops in San Luis Obispo and the Bay Area and then returned to Tahoe for several days of skiing.  Then it was back to Bishop for another four days.  This time we were fortunate enough to meet up with a bunch of great friends from school who had just finished finals. 

Psyche was extremely high as evidenced by the huge number of V-points that the group racked up.  Our posse reached 12 at its largest and made ascents of Beefcake V10, Beefy Gecko V11, Standing Kill Order V10, Queen Sweet Nectar V9, Disco Diva V8, Morning Dove White V7, The Hulk V6, Strength in Numbers V5, Molly V5, Pow Pow V8, High Plains Drifter V7, Atari V6, the sit start to Bowling Pin which probably has a different name V8, and many, many more that I can’t think of at this moment.  Almost as impressive as the number of V-points that were amassed, were the number of stars, as most of the ascents were classics. 

It was awesome to climb with good friends, some of whom I hadn’t seen for six months!  We finally convinced Ian that he could stop studying long enough to come to Bishop for four days and he impressed us all with his ability to climb V10 off the couch.  Alex was as psyched as always and amazed me with his ability to continuously pull down on burly moves throughout the day, spot like a champion, and be my bestie.  Eric quietly sent climb after climb, cruising through the moves with unparalled finesse.  Drew put down his long time project and arch nemesis, High Plains Drifter, in a beautiful display of effort and inspiration.  Trevor’s finger exploded and started to hemorrhage blood within the first hour of his arrival, but that didn’t stop him from pulling down hard.  Chelsea continued to hop on harder and harder climbs as her bouldering confidence builds.  Kent sussed out the beta on Molly and on the send he hit the finishing hold in an awesome dynamic upward surge, feet flying out, huge smile on his face.  Tiber was exuberant and possibly the most excited person in all of Bishop.  Sam was as impressive as ever, amassing a very proud ticklist and working inspiring lines.  Fabien was stoked, super encouraging and ever explorative.  Matt impressed me with his determination and made many notable ascents after some good effort.  And as for me, I was just excited to be in a beautiful place with beautiful people (I was also excited that the temperatures were double what they were on our last visit). 

We left Bishop and drove through a snowstorm back to Tahoe.  The next day we woke up to 24” of fresh powder and bluebird skies.  The next week consisted of skiing, eating, and movie watching.  We were stoked to get to watch the opening night of an ongoing competition at High Altitude Fitness (the gym in Incline where we worked this summer), in which the winners will be flown out to Hueco Tanks to be guided by professional rock climber Jason Kehl.  Not a bad deal.  The end of our time in Tahoe was slightly dampered by a huge storm that brought insane winds that whipped the lake into an ocean like frenzy, knocked out our power for 10 hours, and dumped rain onto our beautiful powder. 

My trip was amazing.  I love being dirty, living in my car, sleeping outside, playing with my dogs, climbing rocks and doing whatever strikes my fancy at any given moment.  I love the freedom of the open road, the unpredictable weather, the way that nature surprises you when you least expect it.  I love meeting people that make me laugh, people that make me say ‘wow,’ people that inspire me and move me, and plain, simple people that I can sit under the stars with and not say a word.  I love having time to stop and think, and have no obligations and no one to answer to.  I love the ways that God has blessed me, the way my friends have shaped me, the way my family supports me.  I love that I do not feel tied down, or worn out, or trampled on by the ways of the world, that I am not caught up in the routine, or the expectations of others.  I love that there are people in this world who understand that there is more to life than the car in your driveway, the degree on your wall and the money in your bank account.  I love people who quit their jobs to pursue something they are passionate about.  I love the way that I see beauty.  I love how much money we spent on chocolate on this trip.  I love that in a world that is often filled with despair, there are still people who know how to love.     

Peace. Joy. Love. Christmas cookies.

     

I would like to thank the following people for making this trip possible, providing hospitality, funding, meals, guiding, entertainment, gear, a Yakima SkyBox 16s, and much more.  Please forgive me if I didn’t mention you!

The Patton Family, the Kaes Family, Greg, Steph, the Checketts Family, Donell, Alan and Dana, Max, Dan, Kristal, Jason, the makers of the 2007 Honda CRV, Black Diamond Camalots, and Nutella    

And just because my trip is over, don’t think that my blog is over.  I will continue to write!

Bishop Video

Here is a short video I made of Eric bouldering in Bishop.  The high quality video was taking way too long to load so let's hope that this one will do.

Oh California!

We have returned to the land of immaculate granite.  In doing so I am reminded of a question that we were asked more than once on our trip.  “Why did you ever leave California?” Great question! California is home to some of the country’s, if not the world’s, best climbing.  We’ve got Yosemite, Joshua Tree, and Bishop to name a few of the big ones.  Whenever anyone asked us where we were from, we would triumphantly answer, “California!”  Most people would then ask, where in California?  That question stumped us, as we didn’t know if we should answer our hometown, our most recent place of residence, or San Luis Obispo.  Most of the time we would just mumble and stutter and just say, ‘all over the place!’  Wherever we are in California, we are stoked to be back in the state!   

We are currently en route to San Luis Obispo.  We are reaching the 10,000-mile mark right…now!  Oh shoot!  That was super disappointing!  I was really excited to see the odometer hit 10,000 but it just reset itself to 0.  Rats.  Now, you may be wondering to yourself, ‘isn’t this entire country 3,000 miles wide? How is it that the furthest east you reached was Colorado, but you have driven the distance of our country 3 times?’ Don’t ask. Let’s just say we aren’t very efficient road trippers. 

We spent the past 10 days in the beautiful town of Bishop, California.  Sitting at the foothills of the magnificent eastern Sierras, Bishop is not only picturesque, but also home to some world-class bouldering.  It was awesome to spend so much time in the three main areas- the Happies, Sad and Buttermilks, climbing with great people.  We got to see Eric put down a bunch of projects including Center Direct V10, Beefcake V10, Lawnmower Man V7, Redrum V7 and Atari V6.  Quite an impressive ticklist!  I wasn’t quite as successful in sending projects, but I was able to overcome my constant fear while bouldering and send a highball V3 called Black Magic.  I was slightly discouraged by my lack of ascents, until I realized that I was trying exponentially more problems than usual, which meant there was a lot more room for failure. 

When all was said and done, I walked a way with a ton of exciting new projects!  I am super psyched to go back to Bishop next weekend and make some progress on them.  In the meantime we are making one of our abnormal, high mileage detours that includes a stop in San Luis Obispo to pick up my snow pants and say hi to friends, a stop in the bay for a quick hello to the family and a cocktail party, and then a stay in Tahoe for some skiing!  Wait, skiing?  I though I was on a climbing trip…  Well it was a climbing trip until we got tired of freezing temps and decided to switch sports temporarily. 

The weather was somewhat brisk in Bishop, with nighttime temperatures in the teens.  Every morning we woke up to find that our water was solid ice, our peanut butter was frozen and had to be sliced to put on bread, and even our poor bananas had freezer burn.  The sun set super early and it was pretty much pitch black out at 5:00.  Sitting in the dark in the freezing cold wasn’t too appealing, so we would head for our tent and sleep for 12 or more hours a night.  So that’s how we decided that after 87 days on the road, it might be nice to switch it up for just a bit before heading home for the holidays.  So we will be trying our hands at skiing starting on Sunday.   

We were fortunate enough to be in a beautiful setting and amongst beautiful people for Thanksgiving Day.  On Thanksgiving morning, we woke up to bright blue skies.  We headed into town to pick up some supplies then drove up the road towards Mammoth.  After a bit of searching we arrived at our destination – some natural hot springs in the middle of a snow-covered field looking at the gorgeous mountains.  We cooked up a delicious Thanksgiving dinner consisting of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, yams, rolls, and apple pie.  We scarfed down our dinner (it was 20 degrees out, we didn’t want to linger) and crossed the snowy field and jumped in the hot springs.  We soaked our tired muscles as we watched the sun dip below the mountain range.  It was a lovely day. 

Climb on, rock on, ski on, dance on, party on!